A month ago, my wife and I adopted a greyhound.

Sometimes it’s fun.

Sometimes it’s scary.

A black DS Lite against a blue and orange cityscape background.

Mostly, it’s absolutely nothing likeNintendogs.

The prospect of looking after a virtual dog was exciting.

Eventually it came, and I picked Dachshund & Friends.

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My plan was to take the game on a family trip to Florida.

it’s possible for you to safely ignore virtual dogs, but a real dog demands attention.

A real dog needs more attention than that.

Jason and Lucia on the hood of their car in the key art for Grand Theft Auto 6.

One of us takes her out in the afternoon, and again before bed.

There might be a fifth walk in there, give or take.

You have to pick up their poop, too, then find somewhere to throw it away.

A person leash walking a copy of Nintendogs: Labrador & Friends

I have no idea how to do that.

I also have no idea how I would go about getting her set up for a dog show.

Nintendogs makes this extremely easy.

One dog holds a ball in its mouth while another dog runs around it

You just select it from a menu.

Thus far, no dice.

IRL, dogs cost money and don’t bring in any at all.

Triple-A Games

This article is, perhaps, the most obvious thing you’ve read today.